For many people 'I want to be married' can be understood as 'I want to be happy'. Whether they realize this or not, they think that their current life condition is unbearable and the idea of joining their lives or uniting their souls with another sounds 'very dreamy'. They are looking for a way out of their current life situation, the soul is looking for salvation, which in itself is a very good thing. But when our soul begins to look for happiness in some future experiences, happiness becomes unattainable; because Happiness is here and now and so is salvation.

The fount of Joy is right inside of you and is accessible to you right now. Nothing later guarantees anything better, it is an illusion. Now is really all that you have.

The reason why a lot of people are unhappy in their marriage is because they are mainly disappointed. The soul is unsatisfied because it sought for happiness where it could never be found. Happiness is not found in the idea of marriage but in the substance of it. What they did find however is more pain, more suffering.

The world without suggests many ways to ease that pain, but it is like applying a band-aid over an infected wound. It covers up the affected area but it does not have the capacity to heal it.

With disappointment come blame, guilt and condemnation. If you cannot make me happy then something is obviously wrong with you, if I believe that you have wronged me in anyways, then that means you deserve to be punished. Those are unfortunately the negative energies that are now destroying many relationships.

Loneliness is another main reasons why poeople want to be married. And unless we find the root cause of that loneliness we cannot overcome it. People do a lot of things because they feel alone. Thus the saying: it is not good for man to be alone, meaning it is not good for the human soul to function apart from the divine light . In Job 32:8 we read: "But [there is] a spirit "IN" man: and the inspiration of the Almighty gives them understanding".

The disharmonies that we feel within are the direct results of our disconnection from the Spirit of God in us. Without divine wisdom and inspiration, we lack divine guidance and end up making a lot of wrong choices and decisions. We must therefore unite our soul with the Christ within if we are to experience true happiness. Apostle Paul in one of his letters to the Corinthian church, wrote: "I promised you to one husband; to Christ". It is a perfect union. It is the unification of our mind with the Divine. This marriage is a celebration of Life. It is the return of the prodigal son to his father’s house. Where the soul lacks nothing and is fully supplied with divine strength, power, wisdom and love.

Without this unification, the soul continuously longs for more happiness, more joy, more fulfillment through incessant demands, desires and longings. The tendency is to have all of these met through ‘a love relationship’. But all that comes from the wisdom of this world, because true fulfillment is found within and only through our oneness with God in Christ. All that we wish to have, experience or accomplish can all be realized if we make God our first realization. This means our primary goal should be to first desire God and him alone.

Once this desire becomes your primary focus you will inevitably realize all your life dreams as well. This is what Jesus meant when he said: “But seek ye first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things (all your desires) shall be added unto you".

If you aspire to be married, save yourself some 'drama'; do the inner work first. Open your heart and allow the divine light within to reveal, and expose all the hidden, darkened areas of your consciousness. Let that light also heal any old wounds from past experiences. Then consciously yield your soul to the substance of love within, which is your true nature. When you continuously drink from that source of love within, you become one with it. Love seeks to give and makes no demands, it pours itself lavishly upon others and expects nothing in return. Pure, undiluted love is a substance for a happy marriage.

If you are currently married, do the inner work as well, but in addition you need to come to a place of complete surrender. Deep from your heart commit yourself, your spouse and your children (if any) to God. He is the one to ‘fix’ your marriage, not yourself or your spouse. Your only job is to allow him to do it through you.

Most importantly if you have been blaming your partner, yourself or anyone else for that matter for any of your current conditions you must stop right now. Blaming will only attract more pain. Instead turn all your senses inward, and invoke the Spirit of God in you until your soul is completely and unreservedly merged into the Light of Christ within.

I wish you peace, right now.